HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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