You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
