my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
