I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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