Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
