Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
