He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
