ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
