You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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