so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
