is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
