I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
