my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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