You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
