Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
