i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
well you can't waste a boner
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
