what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
How's work?
Spinning.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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