There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
