Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
