i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My balls are so social today.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
