I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
