Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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