kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize