"it" just moved
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
