He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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