I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
