i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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