Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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