It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
