Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
