So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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