He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
