I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize