I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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