Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
