How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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