i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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