Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Redeem this text for a blowjob
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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