I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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