you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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