just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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