I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize