Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
