Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
