Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
