Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
