I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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