There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
