Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All the doctor said was why
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
