Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That accounts for only three of the penises
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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