Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
