): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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