....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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