I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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