Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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