So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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