I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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