What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
